


Through the Looking Glass

by ravenousbee



Category: Finding Paradise (Video Game), To The Moon (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, a not-a-death fic?? written by me??? it's more than likely, neil needs help, so does eva hm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenousbee/pseuds/ravenousbee
Summary: "Watts. Neil Watts. What's your name?" He asks, a bit too enthusiastically, and Eva finds it too hard to step away from the boy and take shelter back with her friends.So she reaches out again, waiting for the handshake they were supposed to have at the beginning of this conversation."Eva. Eva Rosalene."alternatively : Eva and Neil in the long run and the bitter taste of time.





	Through the Looking Glass

**Author's Note:**

> FIRSTLY huge thanks to thedeceivingmaiden, frannina and dreamstar37 for betaing these, bless y'all otherwise this would've been horrIBLE JDSKFL  
> secondly, i had two lines that i wanted to write for an interaction between eva and neil, literally each interaction was around 50 words, but uh. i needed to lead up to those scenarios so,,, i had to,,, write, a bit more than planned.  
> thirdly, there's a LOT of headcanons in this, and the only parts that are accurate and canon are the parts that we've all seen in minisodes, and the main episodes of the game itself. 
> 
> -there's a headcanon about neil having had this nervous tick with biting on his nails  
> -the entire high school scenario, other than the sherlock play is made up and i doubt any of it is canon dsjfksdl
> 
> lastly, if some parts of this fic seems ooc, i apologize-i really tried my best to keep them in character as much as possible, so please tell me if at any certain point it seemed OOC.  
> enjoy!

The first time that they meet each other, Neil is this short kid— _too_ short for fifth grade—with huge, round glasses on his face, green eyes observing everyone from a corner of the playground.

The boys are playing with a ball, and the girls, including Eva, are chattering about how Mr. Faraize's class is one of the most boring ones so far.

With a quick excuse, she walks over to the corner of the campus where the bespectacled boy awkwardly stands, offering a small smile and her hand reaches out towards his.

...He doesn't take it, and she instead runs her hand through her short hair, trying to play it off.

"Surprising how we all survived Faraize, right?"

Despite his reluctance at first, he turns towards her, tall enough to face Eva's shoulders. "Yeah—I doubt any one of us is going to make it out alive this year. He seemed pretty strict—but not that strict. Not as strict as Smith anyways—"

Ah, of course. He's talkative. _Too_ talkative.

She's going to walk away, and pretend their interaction never really took place—

"Watts. Neil Watts. What's your name?" He asks, a bit too enthusiastically, and Eva finds it too hard to step away from the boy and take shelter back with her friends.

So she reaches out again, waiting for the handshake they were supposed to have at the beginning of this conversation.

"Eva. Eva Rosalene."

* * *

 

Neil talks too much. Talks about the most recent game console that came out, some random japanese animation—Anime?— that he's watched the weekend in a cafenet. He rambles on about parallel universes and how an 'Eva Rosalene' lives in another universe that is exactly like theirs, but not theirs.

Eva, on the other hand, talks only when necessary when it comes to Neil. Only if she has questions about maths or physics, or when he's talking too much and needs someone to tell him to shut it.

It's not that he's not a good friend.

It's a bit strange to admit, but she has much more fun when she's hanging around him than when she spends time with her girlfriends.

Some days, they go to Eva's house, watch some romantic sci-fi movies, because Neil doesn't like movies without some science in it and Eva hates a movie that lacks a cheesy, flimsy romance.

Neil brings his stupid gaming console over, with a game that is basically a car race. She calls it stupid at first, but every time she’s the one who’s keeping Neil from leaving, so that she can play a bit more with the device.

They never go over to Neil's, for some reason. Neil never offers, and she never asks.

Although, it doesn't matter much to her where they hangout, as long as they do.

* * *

 

First day of their seventh years is a day filled with surprises. Neil turns up at school, looking worse than ever, skinnier than ever, bags under his eyes that are too dark for a fourteen year old, and he's _finally_ taller than Eva.

A bit too tall, she thinks, when she has to lift her head a bit to see his face clearly.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, Watson." She teases, trying to either cheer him up or rile him up by reminding him of that mess of a Sherlock play.

"He passed away," is what Neil responds with, and she notices the irritated skin of his fingertips when he begins to pull on them.

He brings them up to his mouth, biting into the skin and nails. Her hand goes up on its own, trying to stop him from doing that.

Later that day, Neil finally speaks up and she finds out 'He' was Neil's grandfather.

* * *

 

The graduation ceremony ends, with Neil more than ready to study Computer Engineering at one of the best universities in town, and Eva, more than just unprepared to leave her high school life behind and go for Neurology.

"Neurology? Doesn't that shit take more than ten years to study?" Neil says, voice muffled through the snacks he's chewing on.

"I won't be studying neurology to become a brain surgeon, genius." She snaps, scrolling through her gallery to find a picture of a blue logo. Angling her phone, she gives Neil the permission to look over her phone.

Not that he needed permission, anyways.

"Sig...Sigmund? Sigmund Corporation? The hell is that?"

"They change the memories of a dying person who's signed up for their program."

"For what?"

She pauses, looking back at her phone screen, and turning it off. "Granting wishes of the elderly who aren't satisfied with their lives. Basically, in your last moments, you're living the life you've always wanted, but it's all in your head."

Silence rules over between them, the sky's a palette of blue and purple and pink as the sun sets, the neighborhood looking as peaceful as ever before the sound of Neil's laughter shatters any dignity that afternoon had left.

"What's the point?" He says, stopping after every word to catch his breath. "They're dying anyways. What's the freaking point?"

She scowls, shoving her phone in her pocket. "The point is the poor guy finally lives his dream even if it's for a few minutes. What's your issue with that?"

Neil stops like a machine that's been turned off, his expression changing as he throws away his unfinished snack in a trashcan next to them. "Seems stupid to waste your time helping dead people." He mutters.

“You can’t tell me you wouldn’t do it for your grandfather if you could.”

Neil doesn’t respond, and instead brings his fingers up to his mouth, beginning the telltale biting. She looks away, deciding she’s too irritated to stop him from doing that.

They spend the rest of the sunset quietly, with Eva quietly fuming over Neil's behavior.

* * *

 

They barely talk after that day.

Well, they do talk. But it's over a few texts with too many emoticons. It wasn’t like high school anymore, where they’d hang out in Eva’s room, lying on her bed or couch, playing games and gossipping about whatever comes to mind.

It's the normal procedure anyways—high school friends lose contact after graduation, university friends lose contact after graduation—everything has its time and then it ends.

She still texts him on his birthday and he does the same for her, no matter how worthless their friendship has become after 3 years of not really seeing each other.

* * *

 

Some time after her twenty-first birthday, he texts her to meet him at a bar, saying their friends from high school are also coming, and that it’s a small reunion, so conveniently arranged after Eva's birthday. She doesn't ask how, or why Neil is the one who gets to inform her about this 'reunion', and not the girls she hung out with.

She just agrees to go there.

Not because she wants to meet her former classmates, and she tells herself it’s not because Neil asked her to come.

For some reason, she’s not that surprised when she gets there, it’s only Neil sitting alone at a table for two, with no signs of their schoolmates.

“They all cancelled.” He says, lies, and Eva brushes it off, because the bags under his eyes are darker than ever and the usually well-kept hair is sticking out in every direction.

She asks about how he's lived by in these three years, how his education is coming along and if he's found someone.

He asks the same questions, and it feels good to finally catch up with him. It feels relieving.

They start drinking, and as soon as they're slightly drunk, the conversations take a bit of a serious turn. Talking about how they've missed each other and how they should've done something to stay up-to-date with one another.

She drinks, he drinks more, and at some point, they start talking about family.

Something so bizzare to Neil, and such a treasure for Eva.

Clumsily, he puts down the bottle that was once filled with wine. He runs a hand through his hair, laughs, and unlocks his phone to scroll through a few contacts, pausing on a certain person’s name.

“I don’t like mine.” He mumbles, fingers tracing the circular shape of his empty glass.

“You can’t _not_ like your family.”

“ _I_ can.”

“And your grandfather?” She retorts, barely recalling Neil babbling about how much his grandfather taught him about the stars back in… middle school? High school?

His shoulders stiffen, and he fidgets with his nails.

“He’s different—was different.”

The conversation dies, only the chattering of the bartenders and the rest of the people in there being heard. She barely makes anything out of their conversations, so she decides to sit back and enjoy her drink for the while that Neil is being immature.

He abruptly speaks up after what feels like years, “We don’t have a ‘call me when you get home’ relationship with each other.”

Eva tilts her head, brain slowly processing his words through the alcohol. “Eh?”

Neil shrugs, opening his second bottle of beloved wine, pouring some in Eva’s glass and then drinking some from the bottle itself. He rubs his eyes, removes his glasses, and in her drunken state, she notices how she only sees Neil Watts when they’ve both drank so much, they can barely stand.

“We have a ‘call after three years and don’t say a word’ relationship.”

She takes a sip from her glass, most of the red liquid rolling down her lips and her chin thanks to the shaking of her hands. “Well… mine is different. We’re a family.” She slurs, putting the glass back on the table before it slips out of her grip.

“So are we.” Neil replies, and she can almost see the anger he’s trying to bury in those words.

Eva Rosalene is smart enough to realize when she should stop talking about certain subjects, and that’s where she stops, shrugging and ending the conversation with a few coins being dropped on the table.

“My treat. Don’t drive home.”

* * *

 

She forgets all about it tomorrow morning, from Neil’s eyes to his uncomfortable fidgeting when he talked about his family, when she wakes up with a pulsing headache and adrenaline pumping in her veins as she runs to her bathroom, vomiting all over the white ceramic.

* * *

 

They stop talking after that too.

So much for second chances.

* * *

 

She gets out of university when she's twenty-six, degree held fresh in her hands as she stands before the tall building, with Sigmund Corp written on its entrance.

 

The woman behind the desk asks her why she's there, if she's there to fill out a contract for her old father, mother, or herself. She shakes her head, puts her degree on the table and spells out 'Memory Traversal Agent' for the lady.

She offers a small smile and hands her a blank form, one she's been waiting eight years for.

She fills it out, gives them her name, number, degree, and stops when the paper asks her why.

_Why are you interested in this position?_

Why did she decide to sign up for this?

_They're dying anyways. What's the freaking point?_

She leaves the field empty, for a day when she might know the answer. Fortunately the secretary doesn't say anything about it. She only smiles, takes the form, and tells her that they'll call her when it's time for the entrance exam.

She walks out, slightly shocked to see a crowd forming around the building, holding cardboards and banners, hatred and disgust on their faces. One of the glares at her, an old woman with fragile hands, shakily holding onto her banner. She screams something, but before it can be heard, Eva runs back inside, and the secretary's kind enough to let her out through the backdoor.

_Seems stupid to waste your time on dead people._

* * *

 

The entrance exam is... strangely not crowded.

The exam takes place in a huge salon with at least 120 desks, and only less than half of them are filled with people her age.

She searches for her name tag, finds her desk, and soon after that, the exam begins.

The questions aren't that hard, and the salon is quiet enough for her to focus—well, until _some_ guy starts poking at her arm, waving his other hand around to get her attention.

Annoyed at his behavior, she turns around, pouting, ready to tell him to back off only to—

Only to see a familiar pale face, brown hair parted neatly with a few strands across his forehead. His eyes are covered by a pair of glasses that she doesn't see through, but instead sees herself staring back.

While she's gaping at him, she sees him equally startled, jaw hanging open and eyebrows furrowed.

"Rosalene _—Rosalene_? What are the chances—!"

" _Shut_ _up_ before you get us caught!" She whispers, burying the shock she felt so that she could focus on the exam for now, and deal with Neil freaking Watts later.

"I mean—I knew you'd be he—"

She draws a finger across her lips, asking for him to just shut, up.

He gets the message, finally, comes to the same conclusion Eva had reached a few minutes ago, or it seems so, when he goes straight to the point, fingers spelling out forty-three.

...Ah, yes, he was asking for cheats before he recognized her.

A quick look at forty-three, and she makes a C shape with her thumb and index, and he shows a thumbs-up in response, smiling toothily and filling out C on his paper.

Forty-five minutes pass, and she's up quickly, handing her paper to the invigilator, and scoffs when she notices a tall shadow follow right after her, turning in his paper and skipping right over to her side.

"Nice to see you _too_ , after so long!" He says, too cheerily for Eva to even respond to. She shoves her hands into her pockets, and looks at him sideways as they go towards the lobby of the corporation.

"Right. Yeah. _Very_ pleased to meet you and almost get my paper taken away, Neil." She mutters, pursing her lips and dropping herself in a chair in the lobby, waiting for a taxi to arrive.

It's snowing heavily outside, her car had already crashed last week and is spending some time in the garage right now, and there's no way she could walk home.

Apparently, Neil had the same idea, sitting on the chair next to her, leaning on his hand and looking at her.

"How's life been?"

Original conversation starter. Leave it to Neil to ruin a conversation from the beginning to the end.

However, she talks with him, discussing whatever's been going on in her life with as few details as she can, and also hearing how he's been dealing from his new Playstation four to his hand-made Virtual Reality console.

"—I see... but how did Neurology end up for y—"

"Didn't you say you didn't believe in this job or something?" She says, the question too heavy on her mind to ignore.

Neil stops, and she sees him grab at his nails, playing with them nervously like any other time their conversation strays from a normal, day-to-day small talk.

"You don't have to expl—" She starts, hands waving at him to let him know it's okay to dodge the question, before her hands freezing mid-air when his voice reaches her.

"It's stupid, to be honest—" He says, a hint of vulnerability she's not used to seeing from him. "I just felt guilty over someone's death. Figured there's people out there like me."

...Right. That was a load of "Bullshit." he just told her.

Neil looks at her—or at least she thinks he does, through those mirrors, and smiles. "After all these years huh?"

“You still suck at lying, y’know?”

She sighs, stands up when she sees a yellow car drive up in front of the department, and points to it, not really feeling the need to explain herself.

"Cup of coffee?"

* * *

 

They catch up— _again_ , at least this time it's not over alcohol and drunken words she'll never remember, but it's over a warm, cup of cappuccino and of course, his weird mix of almost all of the caffeinated drinks.

She tries asking him again, to know why he joined Sigmund, and he shrugs, giving another random excuse to her.

Not that it was her business, anyways.

Not that Neil would ever talk against his will, anyways.

* * *

 

God exists, she concludes, when Neil calls at her at four in the fucking morning, saying he got accepted in the Sigmund Corporation she's so 'desperately' obsessed with, and that he's going to start working on Tuesday, in the maintenance department.

She says she doesn't give a shit, hangs up, and falls back into the warm embrace of her blankets, not even bothering to check her email to see if she had been accepted.

Turns out, in the morning, that she indeed had been accepted, and is going to start her job on Monday.

* * *

 

"Eva Rosalene?" A masculine voice asks, and she turns, meeting a tall guy with grey hair tied up in a loose braid. There are gold traces on his collar, sleeves, and running down the lab coat. He's holding a few papers, one with her picture and name on it.

"Yes?"

"Robert Lin. Your superior." He says coldly, going through the files in his hands, and looking back up at her and to the paper, and vice versa.

"Is something wrong with the papers?"

"None actually. Other than..."

Eva swallows the uncomfortable feeling. "I didn't answer a question."

Robert shrugs, putting the papers back on the secretary's desk. "Wasn't obligatory anyways." He turns, signalling her to follow him. "Why would you leave it empty anyways?"

She shrugs, despite knowing he can't see it with his back facing her. "I didn't... know the answer, I suppose."

"Having second thoughts?"

"No. I'm sure of my intentions. I just couldn't find a reason for them."

Robert stops abruptly, Eva almost going head-on to his back before stopping herself and noticing the elevator next to them. Robert pushes the call button, steps aside, and waits for the elevator to arrive.

"Honestly?" He says, with a tone that's way warmer than their first meeting roughly minutes ago. "None of us really figured it out."

The elevator doesn't come, and Robert is about to go through the emergency staircase, when Eva decides to give it one last try and push the button again.

The elevator doors open instantly, and Robert stares at her like she suddenly grew two heads.

* * *

 

Tuesday morning, just as she steps in, a face covers her view, and judging by how she sees herself in a pair of glasses, it's already obvious who he is before she can respond.

"Fancy meeting you here—"

"Call me again at four a.m. again and I will make sure your death is imminent." She says, quietly, pointing her index at him accusingly.

Throwing his hands up in surrender, he offers a smile and steps back to give her some space. "I was excited! Can't blame me for it. I didn't think I got anything right other than question number forty-three—"

"—Which I helped you with."

He laughs to himself, walking faster and ahead of her. "Maintenance department. Where do you work?"

"Third floor. First office to the right. You're not allowed to be in there for more than three minutes."

"Who said I will be?" He says defensively, pointing at a door that spells out 'M.D'. "Gonna be too busy at my own department, cleaning and fixing machines, madame. I'll see you around?"

Despite herself, she offers a smile and nods. "Yeah. See you around."

* * *

 

Turns out, Robert is a senior memory traversal agent. According to the secretary, who is unexpectedly friendly for managing countless old clients everyday, he's been working at Sigmund since it first booted up. Finally got a promotion last year, since more and more people were starting to join the corporation, resulting in gold traces around his uniform.

The secretary also tells her of a couple by the name of Willis and Taima, who have been here from the beginning like Robert.

She looks at hers, and notices the only gold on hers is a stain left from Neil's mustard dropping on her sleeves.

"Right." She mutters.

A few minutes later, Robert gets out of the elevator, waving at Eva to get her attention.

She follows him to the maintenance department, where Neil is smugly sitting at his desk, busy decorating his PC with obnoxiously colorful stickers.

Robert slows down for a moment, looking at Neil, and then the stickers, and then back at Neil.

"Are you new here?"

Neil looks up, smiling pleasantly when he sees Eva, and then looking back at Robert with a less enthusiastic expression. "Apparently the only new tech guy this year. Neil Watts."

"Robert Lin."

Neil smirks, puts on the last sticker, and leans back in his seat. "You look more like a Bob."

* * *

 

Robert traces the outline of the silver box, pressing a button, and Eva watches in awe as it unlocks and turns into a machine with three main displays, with a hologram above it.

"This is a memory machine." He says, pointing at the hologram. "Patient's status will be displayed there for the doctor to monitor it."

"Doctor?"

"There's always a doctor present.”He pauses, stepping over for Eva to have access to the case. “To keep the patient stable."

She nods, reaching out to feel the metallic surface. "How do I use it?"

Robert brings out a helmet, puts it on her face, clasping locks around her head. There's a green light that covers her sight, but she can spot the silhouette of Robert as he connects the machine to his computer.

She goes blind. The green light goes out, and her ears pick up sounds such as buzzing, ringing, whistling—her vision goes white, then black, and then white again.

She squints to keep the light from hurting her eyes before finally adjusting. Around her is a white, digitalised surface with pixels floating around each tile that makes the place. She feels _weightless_. As if she’s nothing but an image, a reflection.

"That's the interface. Logging in and out of a patient's mind—you can do it using the interface."

Eva nods, trying to focus on the echo of Robert's voice as she starts to walk around on the white tiles.

"Are you feeling dizzy?"

"A bit yeah, actually."

"The first few times are like that. You're gonna adjust to it as you use it more."

The interface disperses, and Robert pulls the helmet off her face. "How was it?"

She doesn’t respond for a few minutes, clenching and unclenching her fists, as if to make sure she’s _really_ back from the interface.

Her head hurts, her vision is slightly blurred, and she’s feeling slightly dizzy.

“Nauseous?” Robert asks, worried, but not surprised.

She shakes her head, and then holds it in her hand. “Not nauseous—but that’s gonna take some time to get used to.” She pauses, taking the helmet from Robert and weighing it in her grasp.

“...Hopefully I won’t have to use it often.”

Robert cocks an eyebrow, taking the helmet back and putting it inside the box. "Why's that?"

Eva laughs bitterly, looking at her phone and responding to a few text messages from Traci, pictures of her baby nephew flooding their log.

"Everytime we use it, it ends up killing someone, doesn't it?"

Robert locks the machine back into the silver box, looking uncomfortably at the blank wall.

"The're dying either way. We're just giving them a chance to live a life they never lived."

"Sounds convincing enough." She mutters, hoping that Robert can’t hear her.

_They're dying anyway._

* * *

 

The first job she takes on, is _horrible_.

The woman wished not to die alone. She said she’d like to have a family, friends, who would be by her side as she’s drawing her last breath. Even if they’re all artificial.

There's a good jolly buzz at the very end of it, when they finally transfer the memories and watch the woman live the life she always wanted, with the ones she always loved.

The last they see of the old lady is her smiling face as she embraces her grandchild, with her children sitting around her.

But then she removes her helmet, sees an old, old woman lying on bed, alone, with no one by her side other than the doctor.

He gives them a thumbs up, smiles, and the heart monitor shows a flat line.

She doesn’t smile back, and instead diverts her mind back to the alternate reality they created.

Her partner pats her shoulder, and offers a small smile.

"You'll get used to it."

* * *

 

Sometimes, during their break times, she visits Neil in the maintenance department. They've been talking every now and then. It’s not like high school anymore, of course. But at least she knows they won’t fall out of touch this time.

Sometimes they text, Neil spamming her with useless pictures and words, and Eva only responding with a few curses.

"Wanna come over?" She suggests one day, over lunch. "My sister's coming with her family. I thought it'd be fun for you to come too—instead of spending all your life behind that small desk."

Neil scoffs, shoving in another hash brown in his mouth. "Contrary to popular belief, I enjoy my time alone." He says, and then grins. "See you tomorrow, Eva."

"...Suit yourself." She says, twisting her fork in her hands and staring down at her salad.

He stands up, adjusting his glasses **.** "Thanks for the offer, though." Neil says quietly, and then he runs back to the maintenance department. She whispers a ‘you’re welcome’ quietly to the empty seat, and finishes her meal.

* * *

 

"Senior memory traversal agent. How's that?" Robert says with a smile, handing her a package with a new uniform inside. "You're gonna move to your new office. Second floor, first office to the right. Rooms are bigger than third floor's, and it's only yours."

Eva gasps, taking the golden-traced uniform. "No more Alistair?"

Robert laughs, despite his usual stoicness, and nods.

"No more Alistair. Have fun—there's a tech specialist next to you that... can be a bit strange at first. You'll like her."

Eva frowns, packing her stationary, along with a small cactus that she kept on her desk, and soon she finds herself in her new office, settling everything down.

It's definitely bigger than the offices on the third floor. Only had one desk, and that golden plate outside with her name on it flattered her a bit too much for her own good.

She is about to go in the elevator, find Neil, and maybe boast about her new office, and her promotion, before a pair of strong hands grab her shoulders, keeping her frozen in place.

She turns around slowly, expecting the worst, only to see it's a woman slightly shorter than her, short blonde hair, and a blue scarf around her neck.

Before she can ask who, the woman looks up, smiles widely and lets her go. "Roxanne Winters! Robert has told me a lot about you."

Eva laughs, slightly taken aback by the sudden change of character from Robert to Roxanne. "Yeah—Well, good things, I hope?"

* * *

 

"You got a promotion after just four months? Bullshit!" Neil says, leaning back against his chair, still stuck behind the same small desk in maintenance department.

"And you’re still in the maintenance department." She says with a smug grin, enjoying the brunet’s envy.

"Pft. Pretty sure that Bob guy had it out for ya. That's too quick! Even for you!"

"I just happen to be better at working than you." She says, pointing at an unfinished 'game' on his desktop, with the endless amount of stickers that he put against his desk and his PC. "You're making a game, instead of working, Neil?"

"It's gonna be the endgame for all of those indie developers out there." He says, snapping his fingers. "Combat? Love? Drama? Your guy here is coding it all."

She shakes her head, filtering out his voice as he starts to ramble about his childish project, and instead focuses on Neil himself.

Despite the cheerful voice of his, Neil looks awful. There's about five empty mugs on his desk with coffee stains all over them. She can't put her finger on how he looks different from what he was, but something about him looked off. Something in his appearance didn't match up with the tone of his voice.

She brushes it off, and instead looks at his hands.

"You stopped that…” she pointed at his hands,” That hand thing you did."

"Hand thing?" Neil says, looking up from his PC, the steam from his coffee mug covering his glasses.

"You know, pulling at your nails and the skin around them."

Neil nods with recognition, looking at his fingertips, which no longer have the red marks and nails that are no longer bitten. Sipping from his mug, he looks at her with an unreadable expression.

"I've developed worse habits."

She laughs, and raises an eyebrow. “Suddenly, I can’t help imagining you as a junkie.”

He grins, and it looks too out of place on his face, given his fingers fidgeting with a pencil, and the small part of his cheek he’s biting on.

She doesn't ask, and he doesn't answer.

* * *

 

One of the jobs she takes on after her promotion is with Roxanne. It gives her some time to know more about the woman, and to be known herself.

Turns out she's a single woman, living alone in an apartment not too far away from one she stays in. Has a weird obsession with ice cream, tall guys, and Korean soap operas.

"It's just because they're hilarious. The acting is awful, the story's awful, but the unnecessary amount of drama and subplots shoved in for the sake of a few tears, always makes it worth watching." She excuses herself. Although, after watching _one_ episode and seeing her cry over an incredibly dramatic death, those excuses mean nothing to her.

Roxanne asks about her then, about her family, friends, any lovers that text her at three in the morning. She says she has a nuisance called Neil that texts her at midnight, but not to confess, but to disconcert her.

Roxanne giggles, parking the car in front of the patient's house. "Most love stories start like that, sweetie."

"In _Korean_ drama?"

Roxanne coughs, taking out her phone and showing her a picture of the patient's file.

"Work comes first."

The job goes smoothly, but somehow, after so many patients, the flatiline of the heart monitor makes her want to quit the job and go to Traci’s.

* * *

 

One day, there's a silver plate next to the office in front her that spells out 'Neil Watts'.

Neil walks out of the elevator, a half-open briefcase in his hands full of unfinished paperwork and ...blueprints?

He sees her, waves, and flashes a grin. "Guess who got a promotion?"

"Finally." She says wryly, unlocking her office and going inside. "Don't make me put a 'Stay out, Neil' poster on this door."

Neil pouts, huffing and walking towards his new office's door, fumbling with the keys. "I'll be sure to put up a 'No Evas Allowed' poster, then."

* * *

 

Roxanne comes into her office one day, looking worried and uncomfortable.

"What's up?"

"They're back."

After so much time working at Sigmund, ‘ _they_ ’ has become a word that signifies one thing only, for each and every one of the employees.

People standing outside, rotten fruits in their hands, banners waving around, just like the first day she walked into this building.

"Will they ever get tired?" A third voice says, and she looks to see Neil standing, leaning against the wall across the conference room.

"Doubt they will." Roxanne says, biting her nails and taking a few steps back when a tomato hits the window.

"...Maintenance is not going to be happy with cleaning the windows again." The blonde says, laughing bitterly and going out of the conference room, leaving only Neil and Eva inside.

"Imagine getting out of your bed in the morning to come and bully a company." Neil says, pursing his lips and tapping away on his new phone. "Pathetic."

"They do have a good reason for it." She whispers, despite her beliefs. "We're not exactly helping people. We're kind of ending them for good."

"So what? People die one day. We're just making sure that day is a good one for the dead guy."

Eva doesn't respond, and Neil stops talking. They spend the rest of the day in the same room, with Eva leaning against the window, startled by the rotten fruits every once in a while, and Neil standing in the same position that he was in, watching clips from his phone with the volume loud enough for Eva to hear as well.

Hours go by, and he finally leans away from the wall, pocketing his phone. "We're done for the day."

She nods.

"Aren't you going to go home?"

She nods again.

Neil sighs audibly, rubbing his eyes, and Eva catches a glimpse of green. "Cup of coffee?" He asks, like the day in the lobby, and she nods, again, only that this time, she steps away from the window and follows Neil through the backdoor of the building.

* * *

 

"You're partnered with each other from today on." Robert says, towering over Neil and Eva in his office.

"What about Rox—"

"Roxanne and I are partnered with each other." Robert says with a small smile, and hands over a folder to Eva. "That's your next patient. Her name's Nora—it shouldn't be too hard, based on her wish."

When Robert leaves, Neil takes a look at Nora's file, skimming through it to the very end, whistles, and gives the folder back to Eva.

"Well, you're definitely an upgrade from Alistair." He says with a smirk, and Eva flips him off, throwing the folder on Robert's desk and sighs.

She doesn't admit that she's happy they're together, doesn't say 'it'll be like the old times', but she's sure Neil picks up on it and decides not to comment on it.

* * *

 

Nora turns out to be a horrible case.

Scattered memories, painful memories, repeatedly logging in and out of the machine desperately, staying awake all night, more than nine cups of coffee—

When the flat line takes over, they shut down the machine, get outside of her house, greeted by the cold breeze. Neil drops by the gate outside, sitting cross legged on the wet grass. He looks up, and she sees his eyes from that angle instead of the tell-tale glasses.

He doesn't say anything, but they both know what he wants to say.

Instead of talking, she leans against the gate, not willing to dirty her uniform by sitting down, and looks at her phone to check the time.

"We don't get paid _enough_ for this." Neil says with a breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair.

"We don't." She agrees with a grin, almost used to this part of the job, and holds out her hand to help him get up.

* * *

 

"What do you think we're doing wrong?" Eva asks, sipping the cold, shitty coffee she got from a vending machine downstairs.

Neil shrugs, wincing as a tomato hits the window in front of him. "I think," He says, throwing the can of empty coffee at the trashcan nearby, successfully hitting his target, "That we're doing what we can to get some cash."

"Is that all this job is to you?"

He stays quiet for a few moments, and right before Eva's about to say the familiar ‘nevermind’, he stops her. "You know it's not." He shrugs, leaning against the old chairs of the conference room. "I like doing this... thing, even though it ends up with a corpse each job that we take on—but the people aren't wrong to be mad about that."

"What gives them the right to assume we're wrong?"

Neil smirks, raising an eyebrow. "What gives _you_ the right to assume they're wrong?"

She sighs, standing up and looking at her empty can. "I'm gonna go get another one. Seems like an all nighter, this next job."

"Get me one too."

She walks away, pausing at the doorway and looking over at Neil.

"What was your reason?"

"Hm?" Neil asks, without turning back to face her.

"What was your reason for getting this job? What did you write on the form?"

He laughs, not startled by the second tomato that hits his reflection in the window. This time, he turns to face her, resting his head against his arm.

"Something about a classmate taking the same job, and another thing about their fancy equipment."

"I'll pretend not to be creeped out by that."

He huffs, she grins, and then she walks away.

* * *

 

"Johnny, huh?" She says, looking at the two kids playing around the room, before their mother scolds them and shoos them out of the bedroom. The doctor grins at the sight, and gets back to connecting the machine with his equipment.

Neil is typing away at the machine, helmet by his side, while Eva's rests in her hands.

They put their helmets on, and the scenery changes when they find themselves by the cliffside, an old man by a grave, and the housemaid standing by his side.

Unlike most patients, it doesn't take too long to convince him that this is his memory, and that he's currently lying on his deathbed. He smiles at them, and asks them to take him to the moon.

Ironically, the moon behind him is covered by a few clouds.

"How do we take him to the moon? The old geezers keep getting crazier—Ow!"

Eva hits his side with her elbow, shutting him up.

* * *

 

Johnny turns out to have had a twin brother, who died in a car accident his mother caused. He was called Joey, apparently favored by the mother and aspiring to be a writer when he grows up.

Johnny's mother starts to pretend Joey never died, and the son she killed that day was Johnny. Whenever someone asks why his mother is calling him Joey, Johnny says it's because of his late grandfather. No one questions it, even if they already know why she'd do that.

He was injected with Beta blockers after the accident, losing childhood memories that not only caused them to log out of the machine and try to figure out a way so that they could fix this, but also caused him to forget a ginger girl he met at an amusement park.

He promises her they'll reunite on the moon, if they’re ever lost or separated from each other.

Her name is River, diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.

Years later, Johnny proposes to her. Not because of the promise they made at the amusement park, but because he sees her at his school and falls for her.

They never had any kids, despite their attempts.

They never had any kids, but River finds maternity within a withering lighthouse, and she names her Anya.

River fills the house with paper bunnies, with bellies as bright as the moon on that night, and blue bodies as dark as the sky that night. Johnny doesn't remember their promise, and instead composes a melody that the housemaid’s kids play to this day.

For River.

"Cliché, naming it that. Was he trying to be Beethoven?" Neil mutters. Later, he complains about how he wished they could still record songs from a patient's memory.

They attempt so many times to persuade him to consider going to space, but every second that they spend on brainstorming ways to send him to the moon, is a second closer to the end of their path.

To the end of Johnny's life.

So Eva does something... unethical, because she _wants_ to get the job done.

* * *

 

It ends up working out. River and Johnny somehow find each other in the made-up NASA Eva constructed, and hold hands as the shuttle goes off, the rocket tears through the atmosphere.

Sitting on the edge of a bridge back on land, Eva lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and ignores the way her eyes sting from the tears that are to come.

Neil puts a hand on her shoulder, inching closer, and she brushes him off, later remembering it and laughing about it, if not slightly regretting it.

She doesn't get to see how Neil reacts, other than his hand covering his eyes so that he can follow the rocket it no longer can be seen.

They finally cut the connection, and they hear the tell-tale sound of the heart monitor.

This time, Eva doesn't get upset when she hears it.

* * *

 

She finds a bottle full of painkillers while working on Johnny's case.

She asks Neil if it's his, and why he's taking such strong medications, and he brushes it off with the most ridiculous excuse that _she_ ’s ever heard.

Neil takes the bottle back, a bit too anxiously, as if he's scared of her taking them away from him.

Neil was right, whatever it is that he's doing with those pills is unhealthier than picking at his nails and skin.

On Christmas, She gives him a recorder, with three pre-recorded messages. He mocks it, but in a way she knows that he appreciates the gift.

She walks in on him calling his parents. They call his name, waiting for a response from him, and Neil listens, but never talks back. He hangs up while they're still speaking, and pockets his phone.

"Why don't you answer them? Did they do something?"

Neil looks at her without turning to face her.

"It's not their fault."

Eva doesn't ask, because even if she does, Neil isn't going to answer.

In the end of the night, Traci decides to take the party to _them_ , instead of inviting them over. They both end up at department’s diner, with her nephew and Lilly’s kids running around the table chasing Neil, Traci fussing over her 'injured' head, and the recorder, flashing a red light, on the table.

She notices it, but doesn't think much of it.

* * *

 

One of their jobs is not to change anything in the man's life.

His name is Colin Reeds, and he turns out to be a boy who lived almost alone in his apartment throughout his childhood. His parents, loving, but almost never at home, left him with a small corgi doll.

Colin spends all day after school watching movies, cartoons, talking with the toy **,** jumping on his parents bed.

Instead, they see a girl with eyes as green as a forest, and sun-kissed skin that always appears in the balcony in front of Colin's.

They talk all day, about school, about the things their parents won't let them do and about their futures.

The girl doesn't talk much about herself, and instead hears about Colin. She listens to his dream of being a pilot, his classmate leaving the seat next to him empty because the classmate has found a new friend. The girl walks through his school with him, drawing stupid shapes on chalkboards and running in the hallways, without anyone to give them detention for it.

She encourages him to become a pilot, sit in an airplane’s cabin, fly through the clouds, thousands of meters above the ground, and suddenly, Eva stops seeing her in his memories, until she reveals herself in the airport, messing up the _entire_ progress that they've made. From ruining the interface to breaking Neil's... armor, she'll call it, even if it's the ugliest, most useless article of clothing she's ever witnessed.

Neil forces her to log off the interface, and she comes back to the real world , removing her helmet, Sofia's hopeful eyes on her. She offers a smile, and nods at where Neil sits, terrifyingly still.

"He's got it taken care of."

* * *

 

"You think it worked?"

"Of _course_ it worked. We're talking about me here, Eva. Kinda offended by that question."

Eva sighs, opens the dashboard and brings out an apple, biting into it.

"Want one?"

"...I rather have shitty expired sandwiches with hot chocolate than an apple, thank you." He says, eyes on the road.

Something about him is off, whether it's the painkillers he's probably secretly taking, or something else.

She doesn't ask, because that’s what their friendship is like nowadays. Keeping secrets from each other.

* * *

 

She attends Colin's funeral, because she wants to. She feels more confident than ever about her job,  the flatline no longer bothering her, but whispering in her ear that she _succeeded_ , they _succeeded_ in granting another wish.

She calls Neil, asks him if he's going to turn up at last or not, and he sounds drunk, telling her that he had too much scotch with a slur to his voice. She sighs frustratedly, fixing her black dress before heading back to the funeral, offering her consolations and standing by quietly until the funeral ends.

* * *

 

Neil looks tired, unhealthy, restless, but he also beams whenever he sees her, teasing her, boasting about something that Eva cannot bring herself to care about. He drinks too much coffee, talks too much about something, anything other than himself and stays late at work on holidays.

Eva goes to her sister's house whenever she gets a day off, spending some time with her nephew and eating her sister's familiar cooking. She has a little garden of vegetables and fruits she takes care of with her _soul_ , playing songs for her plants with her phone and sitting for hours watching them, enjoying herself. She doesn't talk _much_ , but sometimes she rambles to close friends like Robert and Roxanne _and Neil_ about whatever that is going on in her life.

She argues with Neil over most things, that end with him outsmarting her or her proving him wrong in the most embarrassing way possible.

"Neil." She calls for him, and he looks at her, phone screen still shining bright, shedding some light on his features at almost ten p.m.

The stars above them are shining, the moon is brighter than ever, and she can't help it when her eyes search for a rabbit, made of stars and the moon, staring back at her.

She focuses back on Neil, barely seeing his eyes through his glasses, but she _sees_ them, sees a man as old as herself, a talkative boy she found in high school, and the drunk guy at the bar who looks at her dead in the eye and says he doesn't like his family.

For the first time, Eva thinks that she's truly seeing Neil.

"Traci’s having a party tonight."

"With your devilish nephew?" He whispers, pouting, but she doesn't fail to notice that small glimmer of joy in his eyes. Not even the glasses can hide those.

"Don't make me take that back." She says threateningly, car keys spinning around her index finger. Neil lets out a laugh, shrugging and putting his phone away.

"Since you're asking so _nicely_ , I might as well not reject you. It'd be rude to let down a fan."

Traci calls when they're two streets away from her house, and says that her son is sick, and it'd be best for Eva and her 'potential partner' not to come tonight. Neil shrugs, and they end up going to a restaurant instead,

They get kicked out when the clock hits one a.m. , and instead of dropping Neil at his apartment, they stay in her car throughout the night, chatting about _anything_ that comes to mind.

From Alistair's disgusting stench to Logan's new girlfriend, from Taima's cousin emailing Eva **,** to Willis **,** teasing Neil _about_ Eva.

Neil sighs exhaustedly, leaning against the uncomfortable car seat, and rolling down the window by his side to get some air.

“We should do this more often."

"What, gossipping?" She says, out of breath herself.

"No—no. Spending time. You and I." He stops himself abruptly, as if keeping himself from saying something stupid. "...Nevermind. Alcohol's finally taking this wall of experienced soldiers down. Immunity system's soldiers, white something….Yeah." He slurs, closing his eyes and his head rolls down to settle against his arm.

She smiles, and looks away from him to the sky.

"We should." She whispers, to particularly no one.

  



End file.
